It is so awesome to see us run to God and embrace challenges hand in hand and more in love than ever. Matt has switched employers, we sold the tiny house and let go of that dream for now and dealt with the stress of renovating and now selling our house in Alaska . All while Matt begins the process of joining the Army National Guard.
Early in the year, as I was meditating I heard God speak, "This is the year you will get your baby." We don't typically do things conventionally so we weren't exactly sure how this would happen! We found ourselves with money savings for the first time in a long time and we decided that pursuing pregnancy was the best way to spend it. While we were making all the other changes, we endured several months of failed fertility treatments. Thankfully, the result was an empty bank account and not disappointment. The decision to add to our family through adoption is easy, but the financial part of it feels like a burden.
The past few days I have found myself stressed out and beginning to question how this is going to even be possible. We need at minimum $35,000! We have saved and have a plan, but the fear that something will fall through has been heavy in my heart. The fact that BOTH of our vehicles required major and expensive repairs on the same day this week didn't help!
This afternoon I was determined to break this feeling off of me. I declared it to be Pajama Party Day. I cranked up worship music and baked a massive amount of lasagna. As the boys began running around shooting everything, including me, with rubber band pistols the spirit of thankfulness became so overwhelming to me. I began to weep and I started praising God for the blessings in my life...My salvation, my husband, my children, the animals staring at me in confusion as I ugly cried, Shawn Macdonald for writing the song All I Need, the rain, that I did 5 pull-ups in a row today, my friends...everything I could think of, even comfort food!
Often it is so simple to get caught up in the crap that happens. It is so hard to keep focused on the positive. This place that I am sitting in (even if I'm wearing Betty Boop pajamas covered in pasta sauce and snot) is beautiful. The anxiety is gone. My heart if full of love and expectancy for our future and our baby that WILL come in HIS timing!
The point of this was to share my revelation but I'm going to post a link to our current fundraiser as well. It ends on 9/26/14. Thank you to those of you who are able to support us financially or through prayer! http://order.tupperware.com/pls/htprod_www/home